The 90 Second Trick That Will Change Your Life: What Neuroscience Teaches Us About Emotions

Have you ever been swept away by a strong emotion and felt like it would last forever?
Maybe you were hit with a wave of anger, anxiety, or grief that made it hard to focus or even breathe. In those moments, it can feel as if the emotion is in complete control.

There is something powerful that can completely shift how you experience those moments:
Most emotions only last about ninety seconds.

This insight comes from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist who experienced a massive stroke that gave her a rare opportunity to observe the inner workings of the brain in real time. In her book My Stroke of Insight, she explains a life-changing truth:

“When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there is a ninety-second chemical process that happens in the body. After that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”

Think about that for a moment. The initial wave of emotion, the physical and chemical surge, is over in a minute and a half. What happens after that is often a mental habit, a thought loop, a story we keep replaying and fueling.

What Happens During Those Ninety Seconds

When you are triggered by something stressful, your brain sends signals that release stress hormones into your bloodstream. Your body responds with a racing heart, muscle tension, shallow breathing, or a surge of mental chatter.

That chemical surge peaks and begins to subside within ninety seconds. If you allow it to pass without feeding it with more thoughts or resistance, it will usually move through you. The emotion completes its natural cycle.

If you keep revisiting the event, rehearsing what happened, or predicting what might go wrong, you extend the emotional reaction far beyond its natural lifespan. The mind fuels the body, and the body fuels the mind, creating a feedback loop that can last for hours or even days.

The 90 Second Trick

Here is a simple practice you can use in real life when an intense emotion hits:

1. Pause
   Resist the urge to react immediately. Give yourself space.
2. Breathe
   Take a few slow, intentional breaths. This calms the nervous system and begins to shift you out of fight-or-flight mode.
3. Notice
   Pay attention to where you feel the emotion in your body. Is it tightness in your chest, heat in your face, or a knot in your stomach?
4. Name It
   Gently identify the emotion without judgment. “This is anger.” “This is fear.” “This is sadness.”
5. Wait Ninety Seconds
   Set a timer if it helps. Stay with the sensation without adding mental commentary. Allow your body to ride the wave.
6. Shift Your Focus
   Once the chemical surge passes, intentionally redirect your attention. Gratitude is a powerful option here. Name something you appreciate, someone you care about, or a moment you feel proud of. This brings your brain back into balance and stops the loop from restarting.

Over time, this rewiring creates more emotional flexibility, greater self-compassion, and deeper resilience.

Why This Works

This practice is not about avoiding or suppressing emotions. It is about letting them rise and fall naturally without attaching to the mental story that often makes them linger.

It is grounded in neuroscience and mindfulness. You are not bypassing the experience; you are observing it. You are choosing presence over autopilot.

Dr. Taylor’s work reminds us that we are not powerless in the face of our emotions. We can learn to witness them, hold space for them, and let them move through us without being swept away.

A New Relationship With Emotions

Imagine what could change if you gave your emotions ninety seconds of space before reacting.
You might notice fewer regrets, greater clarity, less reactivity, and more inner peace.

Emotions are not problems to fix. They are waves to ride. The key is learning how to keep your footing while they pass.

It is not about staying calm every moment of the day. It is about remembering that you are the observer of your experience, not the emotion itself.

Final Thoughts

The next time a strong emotion rises, remember Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s reminder: “You are not the emotion. You are the awareness of it.”

Emotions are visitors. They arrive suddenly, take up space, and then move on if we do not hold onto them. Give yourself the grace to witness the wave, to breathe through it, and to let it complete its cycle. With practice, you will notice more clarity, less reactivity, and a steadier sense of peace.

FAQ

Is it really only ninety seconds?
Yes. The chemical reaction itself lasts about ninety seconds. What happens after that is often maintained by our thought patterns. Mindfulness helps break this cycle.

What if it feels like it lasts hours?
That is common. It does not mean anything is wrong with you. It means your mind is replaying the thoughts behind the emotion, which keeps the reaction going. You can interrupt the loop by noticing it, breathing through it, and practicing new responses.

Does this mean I should ignore my emotions?
Not at all. The ninety-second rule is about fully feeling your emotions in real time and letting them pass naturally without letting them control your choices.

Want more support?
Download my free guide: 12 Ways to Practice Mindfulness
It includes practical tools to help you regulate your nervous system, increase awareness, and respond with clarity.

Subscribe to my weekly blog Psyched! at drsheenarevak.com for more science-backed tools for peace, clarity, and well-being every Monday.

Remember, you are not your thoughts or emotions. You are the one noticing them. That awareness is your greatest power.